What Can You Do Really Fast?

Recently there was a contest online. You were to answer this question:
What can you do really fast?
Here is my non-winning entry.

What can I do really fast is an interesting question and rather easy to answer when you are young. Back in ‘the day’ I could sprint with the best. When working as a rodeo clown & bullfighter being fast and light on your feet was more than just a handy skill. It could be lifesaving. But what about when the speed of youth has faded, what is your claim then?
As a natural progression and with very little special training I have become one of the worlds quickest at (drum roll please) ‘forgetting what I was doing’. (Cymbal crash) Please hold your applause until the end. Yes, it appears that my great talent lay dormant for years only to recently be discovered along with the gray hair that had been hiding, just beneath my scalp. Uses for my new found endowment are currently being researched. Thus far little value has been found in the questions at the bottom of the stairs, ‘Did I just come down or was I going up?’, as with the refrigerator query, ‘Putting something in or taking it out?’ My investigation for methods to successfully apply my new found skill will continue. But please excuse me, I must stop for now. I have to write an article about: What I can do really fast.
Where did I put my pen….?