You can learn that the old saying: 'You never miss the water until the well runs dry,' is true.
And from those dusty depths, I share.
Some pains never disappear. They may change but never, completely, leave you at peace.
Memories may be of great comfort and may also crush your heart.
The slightest thing can trigger these:
A strand of hair, a song, a restaurant, the color of a persons eyes.
The faint aroma of a familiar perfume, the silhouette of long dark hair.
These come from nowhere and blindside with laser precision.
The sudden feeling to call and say, "I'll be late."
Your dog walks beside the bed, the floor squeaks, and in the dark, you turn the covers down but she's not there.
You watch a couple in a café. You are more aware of this special time, than they are. They don't appreciate this time as they should. You wish you could enlighten them. Put down the phone!! Look at her the way you did when you first met. Tell her what she means to you. Love is a good word. Use it often and feel it when you do. These moments are precious and too few, one day to be forever gone. As you secretly watch, you are now longing to set across from 'Her,' once again, to look deep into her dark eyes and feel the connection you had shared for over 30 years.
You leave the café and the cold winter wind bites, as your mind replays the words she would have said hating the cold and urging spring to hurry.
You realize that she was your harshest critic and your fiercest ally.
No, this pain never completely leaves you in peace. Over time you learn to use these memories to reveal how extraordinarily you have been blessed. To share this kind of love comes once in a lifetime. You are one of the fortunate few who have lived such a life, such a love.
It is my hope that these words encourage you to let those you love know it!
Say it to them, write it to them, call them. As I have said before, a few well chosen words will remove all doubt. If you had ten minutes to live, who would you call?.....what would you say?....why are you waiting.
Do it now. Do it often. No regrets.
You will be happy you did. They will be too.
And if your well should one day run dry you will have the warm memory of knowing, without doubt, that they knew you loved them.
This is dedicated to my love,
Deborah A. Johnson
Died June 28th 2015
One Thousand Days Ago